What Would Cthulhu Do?

Cthulhu will one day rise up
to claim the Earth and its inhabitants as his own.
The Great Old One has looked
upon Humankind and found it lacking.
Cthulhu has deemed it necessary
to prepare Humankind for his coming
Thus, Cthulhu now answers humanity's questions
to help them better themselves.

In the latest Dear Cthulhu collection, the Great Old One answers letters and gives more good advice to bad people, tackling topics ranging from after-death love affairs, men who think they are dogs, women who believe they are witches, adoption, relationships, kitten eating snowmen, how long children should keep teddy bears, the place of rocket launchers in polite society, and how to deal with the dread beaver pox.