On the Campaign Trail

Senator Minotaur is proof of the unexplainable and a candidate to become the next president of the United States. Senator Minotaur believes we must cleave in twain the obstacles impeding our nation’s security, cleave them like a sharp axe to wood. A Greek scholar and an avid swimmer, Senator Minotaur resides in Florida with his wife and their soon-to-be adopted son; an orphan himself, Senator Minotaur is unshakably committed to literacy programs and education funding for children under protection of the state. Please do not try to shake his hand. Likewise, Senator Minotaur’s stances on gun control, marriage, and the importance of water conservation to our economy are unambiguous, and he politely asks that you do not ask him to repeat or clarify his stances. Senator Minotaur believes in Florida and God, and is softly but firmly asking for your vote.