Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed
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Idjit Galoot has a problem. He escaped from his master's house for a brief romp around town, seeking out easy targets such as bitches in heat, fresh roadkill and unguarded garbage cans. When he returns to his house, the aged basset hound discovers that his master has packed up their belongings and moved to Florida without him. "Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed" is the story of Idjit Galoot's ne'er do well owner and his efforts to work his way back to the dog that he loves. Along the way, Idjit's owner encounters Christian terrorists, swamp-dwelling taxidermists, carnies, a b-list poopie-groupie, bluesmen on the run from a trickster deity, and the Florida Skunk Ape.
Lance Carbuncle
The Dr. Reverend Lance Carbuncle was born sometime during the last millennium and he's been getting bigger, older and uglier ever since. Carbuncle is an ordained minister with the Church of Spiritual Humanism. Carbuncle doesn't eat deviled eggs, and he doesn't drink cheap beer. Carbuncle doesn't wear sock garters. Carbuncle does tell stories. His stories are channeled through a pathetic little man who has to work a respectable job during the days in order to feed the infestation of children in his house. Carbuncle is the author of: Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed; Grundish and Askew; Sloughing Off the Rot; and, The Unmentionables. Carbuncle likes to hear what his readers think. You can let him know how you feel about his books, or just send him strange questions and/or pictures, at bonesbarbuncle@lancecarbuncle.com.
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