从小镇状元到留美“学神”教授：枪击案里，一位优秀导师的陨落 ｜From Small Town Top Scholar to Esteemed Professor in America: The Fall of an Exceptional Mentor in a Shooting Incident

From Small Town Top Scholar to Esteemed Professor in America: The Fall of an Exceptional Mentor in a Shooting Incident

by 余物非 李晓洁, mp.weixin.qq.com • See original
As an AI, I'm unable to access external links or websites. However, I can translate the names you provided. The text "by 余物非 李晓洁" translates to "by Yu Wu Fei, Li Xiao Jie" in English.

*本文为「三联生活周刊」原创内容*This article is original content from "Sanlian Life Weekly"

在导师、同学和学生眼中,严资杰温和有礼、乐于助人,是博士三年光速毕业并在此期间发表过17篇期刊论文的“学神”,精湛的钓鱼手法和厨艺也常为人所津津乐道。不过在旅美求学、成家立业的15年间,这位农家出身的学子也面临着极难把控的压力与无奈。当原本以个人学术为重心的旅美移民生活融入了家庭和教学的因素,世俗意义上的体面和成功已不再完全取决于自身素养。很多困难的应对和风险的识别,并非他只身一人所能完全掌控和解决。
In the eyes of mentors, classmates, and students, Yan Zijie is gentle, polite, and always willing to help others. He is a "scholarly prodigy" who managed to complete his doctorate in just three years, during which he published 17 journal articles. His exquisite fishing skills and culinary talents are often the talk of the town. However, during his 15 years of studying and establishing a family in the United States, this scholar from a rural background also faced immense pressure and helplessness. When his life as an immigrant in America, initially centered around his personal academics, began to incorporate family and teaching elements, societal definitions of respectability and success no longer solely depended on his personal qualities. Many challenges and risk identifications were not something he could fully control and solve on his own.

记者 | 余物非 李晓洁
Reporters | Yu Wufei and Li Xiaojie

实验楼的枪声Gunshots in the laboratory building

美国东部时间8月28日下午1时许,34岁的北卡罗来纳大学教堂山分校应用物理系博士生齐太磊拿着一把上了膛的9毫米手枪,进入钟塔对面的考迪尔实验楼(Caudill Labs),径直朝159室走去。这间办公室门口一直贴着一排歪歪扭扭的英文单词:“Zijie is my dad!”(资杰是我的爸爸!)
Around 1 p.m. on August 28th, Eastern Time in the United States, Qi Tailei, a 34-year-old doctoral student in the Department of Applied Physics at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, armed with a loaded 9mm handgun, entered the Caudill Labs across from the bell tower, heading straight for room 159. A row of crooked English words has always been posted on the door of this office: "Zijie is my dad!"

159室的主人是40岁的应用物理系副教授严资杰,门旁的英文是他的大女儿写下的。严资杰在这所全美一流的大学任教四年。来到这里之前,他已经是“严氏研究组”(The Yan Research Group)的创始人和主理人。
The occupant of Room 159 is Yan Zijie, a 40-year-old associate professor in the Department of Applied Physics. The English next to the door was written by his eldest daughter. Yan Zijie has been teaching at this top-tier university in the United States for four years. Prior to coming here, he was already the founder and principal of "The Yan Research Group".

2015年8月,位于纽约上州(Upstate New York)的克拉克森大学(Clarkson University)聘用刚结束博士后研究不久的严资杰做助理教授。学校给予他根据自己想法独立开展研究的机会,他便创立了“严氏研究组”。课题组的网站上介绍,他的实验主要“通过开发新技术来研究纳米维度下光与物质相互作用,进而超越光子学和材料科学之间的界限”,而且拥有大量尖端仪器和设备,能用来进行纳米科学、光电子学和生物学研究。实验室还对“纳米结构材料的设计和合成感兴趣”,并期待能将成果在能源和健康领域付诸实践。
In August 2015, Clarkson University, located in Upstate New York, appointed Yan Zijie, who had just completed his postdoctoral research, as an assistant professor. The university gave him the opportunity to conduct independent research based on his own ideas, leading him to establish the "Yan Research Group". According to the group's website, his experiments primarily "explore the interaction between light and matter at the nanoscale through the development of new technologies, thereby transcending the boundaries between photonics and materials science". The lab is equipped with a wealth of cutting-edge instruments and equipment for conducting research in nanoscience, optoelectronics, and biology. The lab also has an interest in "the design and synthesis of nanostructured materials" and looks forward to applying its findings in the fields of energy and health

2019年,严资杰拿到了科研资金,沿东海岸一路南下1200公里,将自己的实验室搬到了全美排名前30的北卡罗来纳大学教堂山分校。北卡教堂山分校现任应用物理科学系(Applied Physics Sciences)系主任蒂奥·丁格曼斯(Theo Dingemans)曾参与招募严资杰。他通过邮件告诉本刊:“通过他(严资杰)的研究项目,他正在突破纳米科学的边界,而他在科学期刊上发表的大量论文就是证明。”

今年1月,严资杰升任副教授,拿到了有着学界“铁饭碗”之称的终身教职。美国大学人力资源职工联合会(College and University Professional Association for Human Resources)2020年发布的一份报告显示,全美高校教职人员的年龄中位数是49岁,而彼时严资杰还不到40岁。有四位受访者对本刊提到,严资杰称得上年轻有为,因为在他这个年纪,大部分同专业的科研人员还在做博士后。
In January of this year, Yan Zijie was promoted to associate professor and secured a tenure, a position often referred to as an "iron rice bowl" in academia. A report released by the College and University Professional Association for Human Resources in 2020 showed that the median age of faculty members in American universities is 49, while Yan Zijie was not yet 40 at the time. Four interviewees mentioned to this magazine that Yan Zijie can be considered young and promising, as most researchers in his field are still postdoctoral fellows at his age

齐太磊是严资杰的学生。2022年1月,严资杰课题组网站发布了一则消息:“欢迎齐太磊加入严氏研究组,期待他在研究生科研中的新发现。”从年纪来看,齐太磊只比严资杰小6岁,同样来自中国。和导师相比,这位新学生在美国的境遇不太顺遂。2019年,齐太磊来到美国南部,开始在路易斯安那州立大学(Louisiana State University)读博。接下来的两年,他读得并不顺利,在2021年末选择拿硕士学位离校。去北卡前,齐太磊在社交媒体询问谁愿意接他还未到期的租房合同,做护工的当地人丹佐·伦敦(Denzell London)对房子感兴趣,因此与他有过一面之缘,去过齐的住处一次。他告诉本刊,齐太磊所在的社区“治安不好、小偷小摸不断”,除了一台电脑和一张床,他的房间空空荡荡。
Qi Tailei is a student of Yan Zijie. In January 2022, a message was posted on the website of Yan Zijie's research group: "We welcome Qi Tailei to join the Yan Research Group and look forward to his new discoveries in graduate research." In terms of age, Qi Tailei is only six years younger than Yan Zijie, and both are from China. Compared to his mentor, this new student's experience in the United States has not been smooth. In 2019, Qi Tailei came to the southern United States and began his doctoral studies at Louisiana State University. The following two years were not easy for him, and he chose to leave the school with a master's degree at the end of 2021. Before moving to North Carolina, Qi Tailei asked on social media who would be willing to take over his rental contract that had not yet expired. Denzell London, a local caregiver, was interested in the house, so he had a brief encounter with Qi and visited his residence once. He told this magazine that the community where Qi Tailei lived was "not safe and constantly plagued by petty thefts," and apart from a computer and a bed, his room was empty.

从学术成果的角度看,严资杰和这位新学生的合作是不错的。在他的指导下,齐太磊在加入课题组一年半内就发了两篇论文。但从齐太磊发布的推文上看,他表达更多的却是努力丰富但依然孤独的生活,以及对研究组和导师的不满。
From an academic achievement perspective, the collaboration between Yan Zijie and this new student was quite good. Under his guidance, Qi Tailei published two papers within a year and a half of joining the research group. However, from the tweets posted by Qi Tailei, what he expressed more was a life of striving for enrichment yet still feeling lonely, as well as dissatisfaction with the research group and his advisor

8月29日,北卡罗来纳大学涉嫌枪杀导师的博士生齐太磊(中)现身法院
On August 29, Qi Tailei, a doctoral student from the University of North Carolina who is suspected of murdering his advisor, appeared in court.

去年10月,他觉得自己的隐私受到了组员的侮辱,而且认为组员向导师告状说自己懒。当他跟导师问起是否有这件事时,严资杰给出了否定的答复。他似乎对此有些不满:“所以啥事都没有,只是这些人有偷窥癖吗?”一个月后,他“感觉疲惫”,因为“花了太多时间来说服自己,工作不是为了向他人展示自己在工作,而是出于兴趣”。今年6月,他辱骂某位女生是“天使般的婊子”,因为这种人“展示自己最好的一面来求别人帮助我,所有人就会看不起我”。8月1日,他表达了对未来职业发展的疑虑,提问道:“你是如何找到博士后职位的?”
Last October, he felt that his privacy had been violated by his team members, and believed that they had complained to the supervisor about his laziness. When he asked the supervisor about this, Yan Zijie denied it. He seemed somewhat dissatisfied with this: "So there's nothing going on, these people

这些看起来细细碎碎的不满和愤怒,到底如何累积成了杀机,而这杀机又如何凝聚到了严资杰身上,目前尚无法确知。当地时间2023年8月28日1点02分,齐太磊在卡迪尔楼159室向严资杰连开数枪。根据美联社报道,一位中年女性当时立刻报了警。在电话中,她声音颤抖,指出凶手就是学生齐太磊并拼出了他的名字,还提醒警方“你们可以在我们的网站上看到他的照片”。她还说,齐太磊有一把枪,穿灰衣服,在作案后就离开了这栋楼,朝着一栋相邻实验楼的方向离去。
How these seemingly trivial grievances and anger accumulated into a murderous intent, and how this intent was directed at Yan Zijie, is still unclear. At 1:02 a.m. local time on August 28, 2023, Qi Tailei fired several shots at Yan Zijie in Room 159 of the Cadir Building. According to the Associated Press, a middle-aged woman immediately called the police. In the call, her voice trembling, she identified the perpetrator as the student Qi Tailei and spelled out his name, reminding the police that "you can see his photo on our website". She also mentioned that Qi Tailei had a gun, was dressed in grey, and had left the building heading towards an adjacent laboratory building after the crime.

事发一个半小时后,警方在校园以北3公里居民区的树丛中找到了齐太磊。根据谷歌地图估算,从卡迪尔楼走到这里需要40多分钟。被捕时,齐太磊穿着深灰色短袖T恤、深蓝色牛仔裤和浅灰色运动鞋。戴着手铐走入警车的过程中,他没做丝毫抵抗,而他使用的枪支尚下落不明。
An hour and a half after the incident, the police found Qi Tailei in a grove in a residential area 3 kilometers north of the campus. According to Google Maps, it would take over 40 minutes to walk from the Cadir Building to this location. At the time of his arrest, Qi Tailei was wearing a dark grey short-sleeved T-shirt, dark blue jeans, and light grey sneakers. He offered no resistance as he was handcuffed and led into the police car, and the whereabouts of the firearm he used remain unknown

齐太磊被捕画面The Arrest of Qi Tailei

事发一日后,齐太磊在法庭上被指控一级谋杀罪和在教育场所持有枪支罪,并不得被保释。当庭他未提出抗辩,或将面临终身监禁。他的作案动机至今仍不明确,但对于导师严资杰的死亡,所有接受本刊采访的受访者都表现出了明确的悲伤和惋惜。美国新奥尔良杜兰大学(Tulane University)物理学和材料工程教授道格拉斯·克里希(Douglas B. Chrisey)曾担任严资杰的博士生导师。这位已年过六旬的老人对本刊回忆,案发第二天,自己与一位8年前力主招严资杰到北卡的教授通了电话。谈及严资杰的离世,两人在电话两端都流下了眼泪。

“学神”

道格拉斯·克里希在2008年成为严资杰的导师。这一年,严资杰开始在纽约州的伦斯勒理工学院(Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute,以下简称“RPI”)读博。秋天入学时,严资杰第一次敲开克里希办公室的门。克里希记得,当时还没找到导师的严资杰有些茫然,问他是否愿意收自己入组。
Douglas Krisch became Yan Zijie's mentor in 2008. That year, Yan Zijie began his PhD at the Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute (RPI) in New York State. When he enrolled in the fall, Yan Zijie knocked on Krisch's office door for the first time. Krisch remembers that Yan Zijie, who had not yet found a mentor, seemed a bit lost and asked him if he would be willing to take him into his group

当时,克里希的同事们认为严资杰的“英语是RPI所听过或见过最差的”。由于语言障碍,两人初次见面时没有过多交流,不过克里希答应了严资杰的请求。为了帮助这位新学生更好融入新环境,克里希说,他曾叫组内一位中国研究生给自己打电话留言,并在留言中说出严资杰名字的正确读音。克里希会反复地听,一个人在车里时还会一遍遍大声跟读“Zijie”。而英语基础很差的严资杰也在努力用自己的方式和新环境接轨。克里希记得,虽然口语不算流利,但严总是面带微笑地敲开自己的门请教问题,即便“离开时他感觉自己对纳米颗粒的成核和生长一无所知,但仍然面带笑容”。
At the time, Krich's colleagues thought that Yan Zijie's "English was the worst they had ever heard or seen at RPI." Due to the language barrier, there wasn't much communication between the two when they first met, but Krich agreed to Yan Zijie's request. To help this new student better integrate into the new environment, Krich said he once asked a Chinese graduate student in his group to leave him a voicemail, pronouncing Yan Zijie's name correctly in the message. Krich would listen to it repeatedly, even loudly repeating "Zijie" when he was alone in the car. Yan Zijie, whose English was very poor, was also trying to adapt to the new environment in his own way. Krich remembered that although his spoken English was not fluent, Yan always knocked on his door with a smile to ask questions. Even when he left feeling like he knew nothing about the nucleation and growth of nanoparticles, he still wore a smile

克里希还记得,学会激光仪器的使用和基本操作准则后,实验室里的严资杰“仔细认真”,常会拿着“不可思议的实验结果”来找他。可他投出的前几篇论文收到的都是类似“这在物理上不可能”这样极其强硬的拒信,也因此感到过抑郁。克里希会鼓励他:“有时这是好消息,因为这样能了解把拒信变为接纳的改进过程。”“任何具有建设性的科学批评都被他很好地接受,”克里希在邮件中告诉本刊,“之后,他也会挑战我的建议,这能引发我们之间应有的积极互动。”
Krisch still remembers that after learning how to use the laser instrument and the basic operating rules, Yan Zijie in the lab was "meticulous and serious", often coming to him with "incredible experimental results". However, the first few papers he submitted were met with extremely firm rejections, such as "this is impossible in physics", which led him to feel depressed. Krisch would encourage him, "Sometimes this is good news, because it allows us to understand the process of turning rejection into acceptance." "Any constructive scientific criticism is well received by him," Krisch told this magazine in an email, "Afterwards, he would also challenge my suggestions, which would spark the positive interaction that should exist between us."

严资杰在学术上的成长很快。据他的博士同学们回忆,严资杰是“那级同学的传奇人物”,是“paper machine(论文机器),材料系大部分文章都是他发的”。一般读博毕业需要五年,他用了三年;很多博士到毕业只发表过两三篇论文,他发表了17篇。同学王丽说,从他身上好像看不到学术有多苦,他“从不加班加点”。大家一致认为,这就是天赋的体现。克里希告诉本刊:“在我教过所有的研究生中,由于他的高产,我一直把严资杰教授看作我最好的学生。”
Yan Zijie's academic growth was rapid. According to his doctoral classmates, Yan Zijie was a "legendary figure among his peers," and a "paper machine," with most of the articles in the materials department being published by him. While it typically takes five years to complete a doctorate, he did it in three; while many PhDs only publish two or three papers by the time they graduate, he published 17. His classmate, Wang Li, said that it didn't seem like academia was a struggle for him, as he "never worked overtime." Everyone agreed that this was a manifestation of his talent. Krich told this magazine: "Among all the graduate students I have taught, because of his high productivity, I have always considered Professor Yan Zijie as my best student."

对于严资杰在学术上的成功,20多年前在湖北荆门龙泉中学带过他的老师们并不感到意外。严资杰来自荆门下辖京山市(旧称京山县)市郊的农村,中学时期的学业就比许多人突出。1998年中考,他以地方状元的身份考入荆门市最好的龙泉中学。该校已近退休的物理老师张一帆告诉本刊,严资杰是他班上的学习委员,三年成绩名列前茅。而且高中时就有约一米八的个头,“高高瘦瘦,帅气阳光,还是班干部”,很招老师喜欢。张一帆说,2001年高考时,老师们对严资杰的期望是清华北大,他最终考取华中科技大学,算是“发挥严重失常”。
The academic success of Yan Zijie is not surprising to his teachers from Longquan Middle School in Jingmen, Hubei, where he studied over 20 years ago. Yan Zijie hails from the rural outskirts of Jingshan City (formerly known as Jingshan County), a district under the jurisdiction of Jingmen. His academic performance during his middle school years was more outstanding than many others. In the 1998 middle school entrance examination, he was admitted to Longquan Middle School, the best school in Jingmen, as the top student in his region. Zhang Yifan, a now nearly retired physics teacher at the school, told this magazine that Yan Zijie was the study committee member of his class and ranked among the top in his grades for three years. Moreover, he was about 1.8 meters tall in high school, "tall and thin, handsome and sunny, and also a class leader", which made him very popular among teachers. Zhang Yifan said that during the 2001 college entrance examination, the teachers' expectations for Yan Zijie were Tsinghua University and Peking University. However, he eventually got admitted to Huazhong University of Science and Technology, which was considered a "serious underperformance".

尽管高考失手,但严资杰还是通过勤奋和优秀完成了从农村到城区,再从四线城市到省会城市的跃升。张一帆记得,虽然他后来和严资杰联系不多,但听说他“之后就按部就班了”。在华中科技大学的七年时间,严资杰先后拿到了材料科学的本科和硕士学位,同学们认为他刻苦自律,性格文静。一位自称是严资杰四年本科同学的“X”(旧称“推特”)用户在一条推文中提到,严资杰“本科时从不跟我们一起打游戏、唱K什么的”,“他的性格不像能和任何人结仇的样子”。
Despite failing the college entrance examination, Yan Zijie still managed to rise from a rural area to an urban one, and then from a fourth-tier city to a provincial capital, through diligence and excellence. Zhang Yifan remembers that although he didn't have much contact with Yan Zijie later, he heard that Yan "followed the prescribed order afterwards". During his seven years at Huazhong University of Science and Technology, Yan Zijie successively obtained his bachelor's and master's degrees in Material Science. His classmates considered him hardworking, disciplined, and quiet in nature. A user named "X" (formerly known as "Twitter"), who claimed to be Yan Zijie's undergraduate classmate for four years, mentioned in a tweet that Yan Zijie "never played games or sang karaoke with us during his undergraduate years," and "his personality doesn't seem like one that would make enemies with anyone."

好人缘Good Reputation

成立于1824年的伦斯勒理工学院是全美乃至英语世界历史最悠久的工科院校,学风十分低调。它的主校区位于纽约上州的五万人小城特洛伊(Troy),从纽约城往北250公里,沿着哈德逊河开车约三小时才能到。小城远离大都市的繁华,生活相对简单。对于绝大多数中国人来说,将伦斯勒理工学院和特洛伊作为留美起点,远在舒适圈外。而严资杰的存在似乎让周围人的生活都变得容易了许多。
Founded in 1824, Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute is the oldest engineering school in the United States and even in the English-speaking world, with a very low-key academic style. Its main campus is located in Troy, a small town of 50,000 people in upstate New York, about 250 kilometers north of New York City, a three-hour drive along the Hudson River. The small town is far from the hustle and bustle of the metropolis, and life is relatively simple. For the vast majority of Chinese people, choosing Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute and Troy as their starting point for studying in the United States is far outside their comfort zone. However, the presence of Yan Zijie seemed to make life much easier for those around him

2008年左右,智能手机尚未流行,没有便携的地图,大家都不太敢离开学校和住处太远。但严资杰喜欢自己坐公交出去探索。同学郭武告诉本刊,严资杰经常兴奋地跟他们分享探路的见闻,而且“通过他,我们知道了一个小时车程外有个很大的商场,也带动了大家周末坐公交去购物”。郭武在美国吃的第一顿像样饭也是出自严资杰之手。“当时还没买电饭锅,资杰硬是用炒菜锅‘蒸’出了米饭”,还“很快速地炒了几个菜”。“大家把所有的饭菜一扫而光”,当场给他起了个外号:“严师傅”。
Around 2008, when smartphones were not yet popular and there were no portable maps, people were generally hesitant to venture too far from their schools or residences. However, Yan Zijie enjoyed exploring on his own by bus. His classmate, Guo Wu, told this magazine that Yan Zijie often excitedly shared his exploration experiences with them. "Through him, we learned about a large shopping mall an hour's bus ride away, which encouraged everyone to take the bus there for shopping on weekends," Guo Wu said. The first decent meal Guo Wu had in the United States was also cooked by Yan Zijie. "At that time, we didn't have a rice cooker yet, but Zijie managed to 'steam' rice in a frying pan," and he "quickly stir-fried a few dishes." "Everyone devoured all the food," and they gave him a nickname on the spot: "Master Yan."

插图:老牛Illustration: Old Ox

同学们还对他的热心肠印象深刻。有一次同学张涛的住处闹了臭虫,由于杀虫需要,房间有几天不能住人。他问了几个朋友能否借宿,只有严资杰同意让他睡几晚沙发。帮同学搬家和抬家具,大家只要跟严资杰说一声,他都能准时来搭把手。
His classmates were deeply impressed by his warm-heartedness. Once, classmate Zhang Tao had a bedbug problem at his place, and due to the need for pest control, the room was uninhabitable for a few days. He asked a few friends if he could crash at their place, and only Yan Zijie agreed to let him sleep on the sofa for a few nights. Whether it was helping classmates move or carry furniture, as long as they mentioned it to Yan Zijie, he would always be there on time to lend a hand.

和本科同学回忆他单调的苦读不同,严资杰的博士生活丰富了很多。学校图书馆里的电影光碟几乎都被他借了个遍。在纽约上州生活久了,他也慢慢入乡随俗,和同课题组的组员们去过离特洛伊30分钟车程的萨拉托加斯普林斯(Saratoga Springs),在赛马场感受当地浓厚的马术传统,也养成了钓鱼的习惯。每到夏、秋天,严见到张涛的第一句话都是“要不要出去甩几竿”,两人和其他中国同学常一起开15分钟车去附近一个水库钓鱼。很多人翻阅过钓鱼技巧的书籍后依然空手而归,而严资杰靠摸索和经验总结钓上来的鱼经常是其他人的两三倍多。得意过后,他从不介意跟大家分享独家小窍门。
Unlike his monotonous undergraduate study, Yan Zijie's life as a doctoral student is much more enriched. He has borrowed almost all the movie DVDs in the school library. Having lived in upstate New York for a while, he has gradually adapted to the local customs. He has visited Saratoga Springs, a 30-minute drive from Troy, with his research group members to experience the local equestrian tradition, and has also developed a habit of fishing. Every summer and autumn, the first thing Yan says when he sees Zhang Tao is "Do you want to go fishing?", and the two of them often drive for 15 minutes with other Chinese students to a nearby reservoir to fish. Many people return empty-handed even after reading books on fishing techniques, but Yan Zijie often catches two to three times more fish than others based on his own exploration and experience. After his success, he never hesitates to share his exclusive tips with everyone

当地在校中国学生有100多人,被戏称为“学神”的严资杰是其中人缘最好的之一。“他好像从来不会生气,不会跟人有任何争执,也不会跟人有任何利益上的碰撞。”读博期间的同学王丽说,“这个人不仅智商高,情商也很高,还有很强的情绪控制能力。”
There are over 100 Chinese students studying locally, and Yan Zijie, affectionately nicknamed "Scholar God", is one of the most popular among them. "He seems to never get angry, never has any disputes with anyone, and never has any conflicts of interest with anyone," says Wang Li, a fellow doctoral student. "This person is not only highly intelligent, but also has a high EQ and strong emotional control."

即使在学术研究上,严资杰也很愿意将实验期间帮助过自己的所有人加到论文的作者栏中。王丽曾跟他开玩笑,说帮他用实验仪器做些不算复杂的扫描,是不是也能被加到他的文章作者一栏中?严资杰一本正经地回答:“当然可以。”五位在美国读过博士的受访者均向本刊表示,在普遍期望作者栏人数越少越好的学术圈,严资杰这样愿意跟人共享成果的学者十分罕见。
Even in academic research, Yan Zijie is more than willing to include everyone who has helped him during his experiments in the author column of his papers. Wang Li once joked with him, asking if she could be added to the author list of his papers for helping him with some simple scans using experimental equipment. Yan Zijie responded seriously, "Of course." Five interviewees who have completed their PhDs in the United States all told this magazine that in the academic world, where it is generally expected that the fewer the number of authors the better, scholars like Yan Zijie who are willing to share their achievements with others are quite rare

获得和失去Gains and Losses

博士毕业后,严资杰到芝加哥大学做博士后研究,其间他延续着期刊论文的高产。以色列人尤瓦尔·伊法特(Yuval Yifat)在芝加哥大学与严资杰合作发表过两篇论文。他告诉本刊,严资杰曾在他刚来实验室时耐心地教他操作实验设备,并帮他在课题组中立足。除了学术讨论,伊法特与严资杰的交流不算多,但对严资杰启程前往克拉克森大学前的课题组送行宴印象深刻。
After earning his doctorate, Yan Zijie went to the University of Chicago for postdoctoral research, during which he continued to produce a high volume of journal papers. Israeli Yuval Yifat, who collaborated with Yan Zijie on two papers at the University of Chicago, told this magazine that Yan Zijie patiently taught him how to operate experimental equipment when he first arrived at the lab, and helped him establish his footing within the research group. Aside from academic discussions, Yifat didn't have much interaction with Yan Zijie, but he was deeply impressed by the farewell banquet for Yan Zijie's research group before he left for Clarkson University

2015年夏,课题组的10个人在学校附近的一家泰国菜馆共进晚餐。伊法特记得,餐会上有两件值得庆贺的事。一是严资杰获得了纽约州克拉克森大学助理教授的职位,这意味着他有了招募学生、组建课题组的资质。“在这一行,如果一个课题组中有10个博士,只有其中3个会继续做博士后。这三人之中也只有一个能继续拿到教职,甚至一个都没有。”如今回到以色列从事激光相关研究的伊法特告诉本刊,“严就是少数中的少数。”
In the summer of 2015, a group of 10 from our research team dined together at a Thai restaurant near the school. Iftach recalls two noteworthy celebrations from that dinner. The first was Yan Zijie securing a position as an assistant professor at Clarkson University in New York, which meant he was now qualified to recruit students and form his own research group. "In this field, if a research group has 10 PhDs, only three of them will continue to do postdoctoral work. And out of these three, only one or perhaps none will secure a teaching position," says Iftach, who has since returned to Israel to conduct laser-related research. "Yan is truly one in a million."

在送别餐会上,严资杰也显得对于拥有自己的课题组非常兴奋。他和同仁们谈起了自己的教学和科研理念:“究竟是拉学生向上,为他们开路,帮助他们实现他们自己想要的目标,还是推着学生走,他们不挪动,全靠我自己在背后用力?相比之下,前者要好太多。”
At the farewell dinner, Yan Zijie also seemed very excited about having his own research group. He shared his teaching and research philosophy with his colleagues: "Should we lift students up, pave the way for them, help them achieve their own goals, or should we push them forward, where they don't move unless I exert force from behind? The former is far better in comparison."

另一件喜事则是严的个人生活。他和女友即将步入婚姻殿堂。在伊法特的印象中,送行聚餐当天,人们在不断地祝贺严,“他状态很好,像是对未来充满期待”。
Another joyous event pertains to Yan's personal life. He and his girlfriend are about to walk down the aisle. In the impression of Yifat, on the day of the farewell dinner, people kept congratulating Yan, "He was in a great mood, as if full of anticipation for the future."

不过,在离开芝加哥大学后,严资杰已不再像学生时代显得那么游刃有余。当原本以个人学术为重心的旅美移民生活融入了家庭和教学的因素,世俗意义上的体面和成功已不再完全取决于自身素养。很多困难的应对和风险的识别,并非他只身一人所能完全掌控和解决的。
However, after leaving the University of Chicago, Yan Zijie no longer seemed as comfortable as he was during his student days. When his life as an immigrant in America, originally centered around his personal academics, incorporated elements of family and teaching, the conventional notions of respectability and success no longer solely depended on his personal abilities. Many challenges and risks were not something he could fully manage and resolve on his own

2015年8月,严资杰与比自己小6岁的妻子结了婚。妻子和他一样,也是留美华人,和出身农家的丈夫相比,她的家庭有更优渥的经济条件,她自己也拥有伊利诺伊大学芝加哥分校(Universityof Illinois at Chicago)工商管理博士学位。从法律文件和她的个人网页上看,结婚后,她拿到了得克萨斯路德大学(Texas Lutheran University)的终身教职,为此曾带着大女儿搬到学校所在的得州中部生活了将近一年,而严资杰则留守3000公里外的纽约上州和克拉克森大学,继续自己的事业。
In August 2015, Yan Zijie married his wife, who is six years his junior. Like him, his wife is also a Chinese-American. Compared to her husband, who comes from a farming family, her family enjoys a more affluent economic status. She also holds a PhD in Business Administration from the University of Illinois at Chicago. According to legal documents and her personal webpage, after their marriage, she secured a tenured teaching position at Texas Lutheran University. For this, she moved with their eldest daughter to central Texas, where the university is located, and lived there for nearly a year. Meanwhile, Yan Zijie stayed behind in upstate New York, 3000 kilometers away, continuing his career at Clarkson University.

对相当多的留美中国学者来说,能在异乡扎根,并获得相对体面的社会身份是一件很不容易的事,其间不免颠沛辗转,家庭分离。对严资杰和他的家庭来说,2019年拿到北卡教堂山分校的工作好像预示着安稳生活的开始。到北卡后的第二年,他结束了长期租房的生活,与妻子在距离教堂山30分钟车程的小镇阿派克斯(Apex)共同买下了一套住宅。而妻子也从路德大学离职,到北卡罗来纳州立大学(North Carolina State University)担任统计系讲师,她的母亲也在北卡生活,一家人算是重新团聚。
For many Chinese scholars who have chosen to stay in the United States, it is not easy to establish roots in a foreign land and gain a relatively respectable social status. Inevitably, there are hardships and family separations. For Yan Zijie and his family, obtaining a job at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill in 2019 seemed to herald the beginning of a stable life. In his second year in North Carolina, he ended his long-term rental life and bought a house with his wife in Apex, a small town 30 minutes drive from Chapel Hill. His wife also resigned from Luther University and became a lecturer in the Department of Statistics at North Carolina State University. Her mother also lived in North Carolina, and the family was reunited

但每一步获得都有代价。妻子为此失去了在原来学校的终身教职,而重新团聚的家庭生活也冲突频发。尤其随着孩子的长大,中国和美国、长辈和父母,不同地域、不同代际的观念冲突比比皆是。据一份法律文件表明,夫妻双方在经济背景、学术地位、教育观念和意识形态上的差异,随着时间的推移将激化彼此间的矛盾。
Every step gained comes at a cost. My wife lost her tenured position at her original school, and the reunited family life was fraught with conflicts. Especially as the children grew up, there were countless clashes of ideas between China and the United States, between the older and younger generations, and between different regions and generations. According to a legal document, the differences between the couple in terms of economic background, academic status, educational concepts, and ideology would intensify their conflicts over time.

严资杰和妻子就如何对待女方的母亲、能否体罚孩子、需不需要让孩子接触宗教、应不应该在新冠疫情肆虐时旅行会见朋友等问题,看法严重对立,甚至偶尔大打出手。即便他们也试着努力解决冲突,妻子曾上课学习过如何成为更好的父母,试着去教堂平复情绪,逐步改善对于脾气的控制,但似乎也没能阻止家庭的分裂。当枪击案发生时,严资杰和妻子正处于离婚诉讼的程序之中。
Yan Zijie and his wife had serious disagreements on issues such as how to treat the wife's mother, whether or not to physically discipline their children, whether to expose their children to religion, and whether it was appropriate to travel and meet friends during the rampant COVID-19 pandemic. These disagreements occasionally escalated into physical fights. Despite their efforts to resolve these conflicts, with the wife even taking classes on how to be a better parent and trying to calm her emotions in church, they seemed unable to prevent their family from falling apart. At the time of the shooting incident, Yan Zijie and his wife were in the process of divorce proceedings

尽管家庭压力重重,严资杰也尽力将家事对学术研究的影响降到最低。熟悉他的同事们都说,严资杰从来没跟他们抱怨过家长里短。一位跟着严资杰实习并成功发表了学术论文的大四学生告诉北卡教堂山分校校报《柏油脚跟日报》,导师常常带着现年7岁和2岁的女儿来实验室,父女之间的对话充满爱意。在每周同严资杰的视频会议上,这位学生总能在背景中听到他的女儿们传出的笑声。
Despite the heavy family pressures, Yan Zijie strives to minimize the impact of domestic affairs on his academic research. Colleagues who know him well say that Yan Zijie has never complained about his family matters. A senior student who interned with Yan Zijie and successfully published an academic paper told the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill's school newspaper, The Daily Tar Heel, that the mentor often brings his 7-year-old and 2-year-old daughters to the lab. The conversations between father and daughters are filled with love. In the weekly video meetings with Yan Zijie, this student can always hear the laughter of his daughters in the background

实验室是他熟悉和擅长的领地。他努力让那里保持正常和快乐,直到新冠疫情来临。
The laboratory is his familiar and proficient domain. He strived to keep it normal and joyful, until the arrival of the COVID-19 pandemic

新学生New Student

“通常情况下,研究生只是导师的延伸,有的直到学术生涯尾声才成为独立的研究人员。”克里希告诉本刊。而严资杰不到40岁就组建自己的实验室,这既是一种荣耀,也是他招募学生时资历上的劣势,“就像所有从事实验研究的教授——尤其是年轻教工——那样,他很难吸引优秀人才到他的实验室工作”。而来北卡不到一年,新冠疫情让本就人手和资金都不算充裕的严氏研究组雪上加霜。
"Typically, graduate students are merely extensions of their advisors, with some only becoming independent researchers at the end of their academic careers," Krich told this magazine. Yan Zijie, however, established his own laboratory before he was 40, a feat that was both an honor and a disadvantage when recruiting students. "Like all professors engaged in experimental research - especially young faculty - he found it difficult to attract top talent to his lab." Less than a year after arriving in North Carolina, the COVID-19 pandemic added to the challenges faced by Yan's already understaffed and underfunded research group.

一位熟悉严资杰的北卡同事告诉本刊,严资杰的课题组规模不大,其中绝大多数人员都是来自中国和韩国。“因为新冠,很多亚洲学生都离开了美国,他那个组里就没什么人了。”这位同事说,“即使在疫情非常难的情况下,他还是顶着巨大的压力一直在努力。”2022年1月,严资杰选择吸纳人际交流一般、尚无明显科研成果、英语口语和写作能力远低于北卡中国留学生平均水平的齐太磊,或许与招生困难和新冠疫情不无关系。
A North Carolina colleague familiar with Yan Zijie told this magazine that Yan Zijie's research group is not large, with the vast majority of members coming from China and Korea. "Because of COVID-19, many Asian students have left the United States, and there aren't many people left in his group," the colleague said. "Even in the very difficult situation of the pandemic, he has been working hard under tremendous pressure." In January 2022, Yan Zijie chose to take in Qi Tailei, who had average interpersonal skills, no significant scientific research achievements, and English speaking and writing skills far below the average level of Chinese students in North Carolina. This may not be unrelated to the difficulties in recruiting students and the COVID-19 pandemic

2022年7月21日,齐太磊刚加入严氏研究组半年,便以第一作者的身份向学界顶刊《纳米通讯》(Nano Letters)投出初稿,而在路易斯安那的两年多,他没有发表过一篇期刊论文。文章经过两个多月的修改后,于2022年10月3日顺利发表,严资杰第一时间在课题组网站上发布了祝贺的简讯。文稿的“作者贡献”一栏提到,整篇论文的研究其实是严资杰的主意,计算和模拟也都是严资杰亲自操刀。齐太磊主要和同伴一起做了实验,分析了数据,在写作上也得到了导师的大力扶持。一位与严资杰相识9年、曾在《纳米通讯》发表过作品的学者告诉本刊:“这篇顶刊一作,就跟导师白送的一样。”
On July 21, 2022, Qi Tailei had only been a part of Yan's research group for half a year when he submitted his first draft to the top academic journal "Nano Letters" as the lead author. During his more than two years in Louisiana, he had not published a single journal paper. After more than two months of revisions, the article was successfully published on October 3, 2022. Yan Zijie immediately posted a congratulatory message on the project group's website. The "Author Contributions" section of the manuscript mentioned that the entire research was actually Yan Zijie's idea, and the calculations and simulations were all personally handled by Yan Zijie. Qi Tailei mainly conducted experiments with his peers, analyzed data, and received strong support from his mentor in writing. A scholar who has known Yan Zijie for 9 years and has published works in "Nano Letters" told this magazine: "The lead authorship of this top journal is like a gift from the mentor."

和论文发表并行的,却是严资杰家庭冲突的升级。就在一个多月前,论文一稿定稿的关键时刻,因为家庭矛盾升级到肢体冲突,严资杰的妻子在家中报警。警察在现场进行一番简单调查后,在傍晚时分将严资杰从家中带走。尽管当地警察和法律系统没有显示存在后续的控告,严资杰和妻子自此开始分居。他一边继续实验室和辅导学生的工作,一边与自己的律师准备提起离婚诉讼和争夺孩子抚养权的法律文件。
Parallel to the publication of his paper, Yan Zijie's family conflict was escalating. Just over a month ago, at a crucial moment when the paper was being finalized, a physical altercation resulting from family disputes led Yan Zijie's wife to call the police from their home. After conducting a brief investigation on the scene, the police took Yan Zijie away from his home in the evening. Despite the absence of any subsequent charges from the local police and legal system, Yan Zijie and his wife began to live separately. While continuing his work in the lab and tutoring students, he also started preparing legal documents with his lawyer to initiate a divorce lawsuit and fight for child custody

很少有人知道,这位年轻有成的导师承受的压力,即使是工作上较为接近的同事也对此所知甚少。学生们更是导师生活的局外人,他们更习惯的还是从导师那里得到帮助和扶持,这似乎是一个团队领袖理所当然的责任和义务。就在向《纳米通讯》投出初稿的几天后,齐太磊发了一条推特,像是在表达他对导师的不满:“就像要运营一个公司一样,一个领导者从不该是一个好男人。如果他想当好人,那就会导致有关琐事的纠纷,降低效率,减少动力。”
Few people are aware of the pressure this accomplished young mentor is under, even colleagues who work closely with him know little about it. Students are even more outsiders to the mentor's life, they are more accustomed to receiving help and support from the mentor, which seems to be a natural responsibility and obligation of a team leader. Just a few days after submitting the first draft to "Nano Communication", Qi Tailei tweeted something that seemed to express his dissatisfaction with the mentor: "Just like running a company, a leader should never be a nice guy. If he wants to be a good person, it will lead to disputes over trivial matters, lower efficiency, and reduce motivation."

今年夏天,齐太磊在顶级刊物《先进光学材料》(Advanced Optical Materials)发表了第二篇“一作文章”。这一次,齐太磊独立完成了数据分析,不过实验的开题设计依然是导师的主意,在论文写作和计算模拟方面也都有严资杰的辅助。尽管如此,两篇“顶刊一作”的成果似乎难以让齐太磊对自己在课题组中的境况感到满足,他也没有停止在推特上对身边人事的抱怨。
This summer, Qi Tailei published his second "first-author paper" in the top-tier journal "Advanced Optical Materials". This time, Qi Tailei independently completed the data analysis, but the initial design of the experiment was still the idea of his mentor, and Yan Zijie also assisted in the writing of the paper and computational simulations. Despite this, the achievements of two "top-tier first-author" papers seemed unable to satisfy Qi Tailei's feelings about his situation in the research group, and he did not stop complaining about the people and things around him on Twitter

彼时,严资杰可能已经感受到了齐太磊的异样。道格拉斯·克里希是受访者中为数不多定期同严资杰保持邮件往来的同行和朋友。严资杰博士毕业以后,平均每半年和他通一次邮件,他是少有知晓并可以与严资杰讨论离婚官司的人。整个法律过程,严资杰咨询过导师的建议,克里希在无法解答时会让他试着问问ChatGPT。今年7月中旬,克里希又给严发了封邮件,询问他的离婚和争夺孩子抚养权的诉讼进展如何。那次通信,严资杰提到自己的一位研究生因心理健康问题时而产生妄想,而严资杰希望这位学生能尽快毕业并保持稳定。严资杰还告诉克里希,他已经向校方通报了该情况。
At that time, Yan Zijie might have already sensed something unusual about Qi Tailei. Douglas Kirsch is one of the few colleagues and friends who regularly corresponded with Yan Zijie via email. After Dr. Yan Zijie graduated, he would email him about once every six months. He was one of the few people who knew about and could discuss Yan Zijie's divorce case. Throughout the legal process, Yan Zijie sought advice from his mentor, and when Kirsch couldn't provide an answer, he would suggest Yan to try asking ChatGPT. In mid-July of this year, Kirsch sent Yan another email, asking about the progress of his divorce and child custody dispute. In that correspondence, Yan Zijie mentioned that one of his graduate students occasionally had delusions due to mental health issues, and Yan Zijie hoped that the student could graduate as soon as possible and maintain stability. Yan Zijie also told Kirsch that he had reported the situation to the school.

8月28日,枪击事件后,警察在北卡罗来纳大学教堂山分校附近的公路旁巡逻(ICphoto 供图)
On August 28, after the shooting incident, police patrolled along the highway near the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill (ICphoto provided)

但这一切都未能阻止悲剧的发生。北卡教堂山分校校方拒绝了本刊就心理健康干预措施提出的采访申请,称请求的信息“可能是正在进行中的警方调查的一部分”。克里希从几十年教学科研从业经历的角度,对这起悲剧做了最为善意的理解。“研究生院的科学研究是另一种艰苦。学生们感受到巨大的压力,常常陷入失败的实验或被拒绝的稿件中。”克里希写道,“我希望像严的学生这样的人能够得到他们需要的帮助——这是显而易见的事实。”他还分别为严资杰的女儿们和父母发起了线上众筹。在众筹的引文中,克里希提到:“他(严资杰)的母亲曾说,他们以资杰为天,即他们的精神支助、未来美好生活的盼望。所以天塌了,他们的苦痛是可想而知的。”
Yet, all these measures could not prevent the tragedy from happening. The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill declined an interview request from this magazine regarding mental health intervention measures, stating that the requested information "might be part of an ongoing police investigation." From the perspective of decades of teaching and research experience, Kirsch made the most benevolent interpretation of this tragedy. "Scientific research in graduate school is another kind of hardship. Students feel tremendous pressure, often mired in failed experiments or rejected manuscripts," Kirsch wrote. "I hope that people like Yan's students can get the help they need - this is an obvious fact." He also initiated online crowdfunding for Yan's daughters and parents. In the crowdfunding citation, Kirsch mentioned: "His (Yan's) mother once said that they regarded Yan as their sky, their spiritual support, and the hope for a better future. So when the sky fell, their pain is imaginable."

美国东海岸时间8月30日晚,约5000名学生安坐在北卡教堂山分校的体育馆内。每个学生手中都拿着一根蜡烛,馆里的大屏幕上打着“卡罗来纳坚强”(Carolina Strong)字样。严资杰的妻子戴着钢丝边眼镜坐在第一排,面色凝重。当大提琴开始低鸣,在她身旁刚满7岁的大女儿开始不住抽泣。两岁的小女儿时而发笑,时而蹦跳,似乎依然相信爸爸只是在睡觉。严资杰的母亲也坐在第一排,几乎全程都在流泪。参加完这场烛光守夜,她要等待还在国内紧急办理护照的丈夫赶来。
On the evening of August 30th, Eastern Standard Time, approximately 5,000 students sat quietly in the gymnasium of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Each student held a candle in their hand, and the words "Carolina Strong" were displayed on the big screen in the gym. The wife of Yan Zijie, wearing wire-rimmed glasses, sat in the front row with a solemn expression. As the cello began to play softly, her eldest daughter, who had just turned seven, started to sob uncontrollably. Their two-year-old daughter alternated between laughing and jumping around, seemingly still believing that her father was just sleeping. Yan Zijie's mother also sat in the front row, shedding tears throughout the event. After attending this candlelight vigil, she awaited the arrival of her husband, who was urgently processing his passport back in their home country

8月30日晚,北卡罗莱纳大学教堂山分校举行烛光守夜活动,悼念在枪击案中遇难的教授严资杰
On the evening of August 30th, the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill held a candlelight vigil to mourn the loss of Professor Yan Zijie, who tragically fell victim to a shooting incident

在生前给导师发的最后一封邮件中,严资杰曾写道:“话说,我上次回国已经是八年前了。一段很长的时间。”
In the last email he sent to his mentor before his death, Yan Zijie wrote: "It's been eight years since I last returned to my homeland. A long time indeed."

(本文刊载于《三联生活周刊》2023年39期,应受访者要求,文中王丽、张一帆、郭武、张涛为化名)
(This article was published in the 39th issue of Sanlian Life Weekly in 2023. At the request of the interviewee, the names Wang Li, Zhang Yifan, Guo Wu, and Zhang Tao are pseudonyms.)

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