Rescuing Men From Rage Rabbit Holes

The ‘manosphere’ is full of troubled young men—some groups are trying to pull them out

By Julie Jargon Sept. 23, 2023 9:00 am ET

Why are so many young men so angry online?

Men are trailing women in college and in the workplace, fewer of their relationships are leading to marriage and many men feel masculinity is under attack. When young men turn to places like YouTube and X (formerly Twitter) seeking male solidarity, they often find more rage.

“It may look like we have an epidemic of male anger, but under the anger is loneliness and sadness,” says Justin Baldoni, a filmmaker and actor behind Man Enough, a podcast about masculinity.

Often the result is depression, and sometimes worse. The suicide rate among men is about four times higher than that of women, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Approximately 65% of men in the U.S. say they’re hesitant to seek professional help for stress, anxiety or depression, according to a study this month from Cleveland Clinic. And the respondents who expressed such reluctance were twice as likely as other men to spend several hours a day on social media.

Untreated mental-health issues can also result in violence toward others. In 2014, a 22-year-old male student at the University of California, Santa Barbara, killed seven people after posting a YouTube video in which he vowed to retaliate against “stuck-up blondes” who he claimed would have rejected him. Online, he became a hero to communities of self-described incels, people who are “involuntarily celibate.”

In 2018 a Toronto man drove a van through a crowd, killing 10 people after hailing the Santa Barbara killer on Facebook and alluding to an “incel rebellion.” Extreme examples aside, an online culture of anger can damage young men’s personal lives and interactions with others. Some people think the problem can be solved with the same online tools that stoke it.

Men’s community-building and mental-health organizations—together with a government-funded anti-hate group—are using social-media ads to get through to men by speaking plainly to their frustration. It’s a small early effort to tackle a huge issue: The groups want to reach millions of men who have gone down online rabbit holes.

Diverting Hate has nearly $700,000 in funding from the Department of Homeland Security, which views online hate as a driver of targeted violence and domestic terrorism. The group targets younger men—ages 18 to 34—trying to meet them where they linger, on social platforms where political extremism and sexism are easily found.

“It’s easy to radicalize a disenfranchised, lonely man online. When he feels he has no place, anger helps him feel seen,” Baldoni says.

‘Irritable Female Syndrome’

“Are women giving up on men?” asks one YouTube ad. It directed viewers to a Man Enough podcast about women choosing not to date and having less sex. The group hopes that by listening to the podcast, men will understand the reasons women feel disenchanted with dating and that it isn’t because women hate men.

“Irritable Female Syndrome—Learn the symptoms and remedies” reads a post that Diverting Hate plans to place on X. While crafted to appeal to a man’s angry side, it will link to an article explaining the reasons women might be irritated and how to respond with compassion.

Since this summer, Diverting Hate and its partners—men-focused support and suicide-prevention groups including Visible Man, MenAlive and the Man Enough podcast—have been running ads and posts to provide camaraderie over rants.

People mourning after a Toronto man in 2018 drove a van through a crowd, killing 10 people after alluding on Facebook to an ‘Incel Rebellion.’ Photo: Geoff Robins/AFP via Getty Images

Diverting Hate’s chief, Kaitlyn Tierney, says she and her co-founders wondered whether men drawn into extremism and violence could have gone down a different path with the right nudge.

“What could they have seen in their social-media feed that would have led to connection with other men in a healthier place?” she asks.

Tierney says the ads and posts so far have had 700,000 impressions, and that 1% of the men who viewed them have clicked on the content—a decent social-media engagement rate. It’s likely to be an uphill battle. One X account dedicated to teaching men how to quickly seduce women has nearly 130,000 followers.

‘Hungry for connection’

The young men following these accounts don’t want to hurt people, says Jed Diamond, a psychotherapist and founder of MenAlive, which provides counseling and online classes to help men improve their relationships. “They’re hungry for connection but they’re getting misled by people on social media who make money on angry, disaffected people.”

Tierney and her co-founders, Courtney Cano and Astrid Askenberger, were inspired to start tracking what they call the “manosphere” when they connected online hatred of women with real-world violence, like the murders at UCSB. They started it as a graduate school research project at the Middlebury Institute of International Studies.

Diverting Hate developed a digital advertising plan and began cataloging accounts focused on incels, on tactics for picking up women, and on the “men going their own way” movement, which promotes the idea that men can live fulfilling lives without women. The 141 accounts they’ve identified so far have, collectively, more than 28 million followers. Where possible, the organization has begun to target ads around these accounts.

Diverting Hate has a $60,000 advertising budget for the next 12 months. “It’s relatively small,” says Tierney, compared with what big brands spend online. “It’s a reasonable start given our objectives,” she adds.

The group plans to measure its success based on how many people view the YouTube videos of content creators like Man Enough and subscribe to their channels. With its mental-health partners, the group also plans to track sign-ups for retreats and community groups.

While it’s been easy to get its message in front of young men online, Tierney says the real challenge will be getting men to join the support groups or to seek therapy. It’s still too early to track that.

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