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In other words, the mother who praises the child by saying things like “You’re such a good helper!” or “Good job!” or “Well, aren’t you something!” is unconsciously creating a hierarchical relationship and seeing the child as beneath her. The example of animal training that you just gave is also emblematic of the hierarchical relationship—the vertical relationship—that is behind the praising. When one person praises another, the goal is “to manipulate someone who has less ability than you.” It is not done out of gratitude or respect.
The Courage to Be Disliked
Ichiro Kishimi
It was one of those nights - his email was riddled with spelling mistakes: Tashi figured he must be intoxicated. “In five minutes, you are going to get a video call from me. You will remove ALL your clothes one by one till you are naked. And this time, I want to look at your face when you do it.”
What Did Tashi Do?
Anangsha Alammyan
No matter what moments you are living, or if there are people who dislike you, as long as you do not lose sight of the guiding star of “I contribute to others,” you will not lose your way, and you can do whatever you like. Whether you’re disliked or not, you pay it no mind and live free.
The Courage to Be Disliked
Ichiro Kishimi
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