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PLAY THE LONG GAME In psychology, grit is defined as passion and perseverance toward long-term goals.22 Harmonious passion is related to having high levels of grit, whereas obsessive passion is not.23 If you’re obsessively passionate, you’re thinking short-term. You’re trying to force things to go your way. But you don’t truly want whatever it is you’re seeking. You just think you need it because you’re unresolved internally. Whether you get what you want or not, sooner or later you’ll shift that unhealthy need onto something else—the hedonic treadmill will continue. Similar to harmonious passion, intrinsic motivation is also related to having high levels of grit, whereas extrinsic motivation is not.24 When you’re doing something you genuinely love, and you’re doing it for yourself, then you’re intrinsically motivated and have a healthy passion. You don’t need to “force” things or “prove” yourself. You’re playing the long game. You’re playing your own game. You’re not competing with anyone else. You’re not measuring yourself against anyone else’s standards. Something Dan Sullivan has noticed in coaching tens of thousands of entrepreneurs since 1974—over 47 years!—is that most of them are mentally “here” but wanting to be “there.” It really doesn’t matter where they are now and how great their lives are, they continually wish they were “there.” Many high achievers have a hard time being “here.” And although it’s great to have goals and vision and be driven, you’re in the GAP if you’re “here” but wishing you were “there.” Playing a longer game allows you to embrace being “here.” Yes, you have goals and vision, but you’re completely happy where you’re at. You’re here, and you love being here. You love what your life is like. You’re blown away by your GAINS. You appreciate everything and everyone around you. You’re genuinely happy. You also love what you’re working on and building. You’re committed and focused, but you’re not trying to rush to the next place to fill some unresolved need. You’re doing what you love. You’re confident in where your life is going. Being “here” doesn’t mean you don’t have goals or aspirations. Quite the contrary. By freeing yourself from unnecessary “needs,” you’re finally enabled to create the progress and life you want. You know you’re already whole and complete without those goals. You’re fully free to have whatever you want,…
The Gap and the Gain
Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan
Happiness is a byproduct of realizing that you are the destination. You are enough and you have enough. You are worthy of love. Your viewpoints and judgments of your own experiences are infinitely more important than anyone else’s judgments of you and of your experiences. By now, you should be able to identify the GAP in some areas of your life. If you’re human, then you’ve been in the GAP at least a handful of times even today. Let’s get practical. Throughout this book, there will be several exercises and journal prompts to help you get out of the GAP and into the GAIN. Start by grabbing a piece of paper and answering the following questions: What do you feel you “need” in order to be happy? Who or what do you measure yourself against? When is a time in your life where you made something or someone into a “need,” and thus created an unhealthy GAP in your life? OBSESSIVE VS. HARMONIOUS PASSION “The difference between the two words ‘need’ and ‘want’ is gargantuan. When you need someone, you…
The Gap and the Gain
Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan
What new commitments do you need to create to get the future you choose? What results will you produce as a measure of your commitment?
Straight-Line Leadership
Dusan Djukich
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