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Leaders, on the one hand, cannot be too lenient. But on the other hand, they cannot become overbearing. They must set high standards and drive the team to achieve those standards, but they cannot be domineering or inflexible on matters of little strategic importance. To find this balance, leaders must carefully evaluate when and where to hold the line and when to allow some slack. They must determine when to listen to subordinate leaders and allow them ownership, making adjustments for their concerns and needs.

The Dichotomy of Leadership

Jocko Willink, Leif Babin

To gain a deeper understanding of how feelings are key in determining your need for boundaries, complete the following statements: I fear setting a boundary with ______________ about ______________. I assume they will react in the following way: ______________. When I interact with ______________, I feel anxious. I become frustrated when ______________does ______________. I would feel better if they ______________. It would be helpful if I set the following boundary: ______________. When I see a text from ______________, I feel ______________. This might be an indication that ______________.

The Set Boundaries Workbook

Nedra Glover Tawwab

The GAP stresses you out. It taxes and ages your physical body. It erodes your emotional well-being. The GAP is a habit. It’s a habit we can fall into literally hundreds of times per day. We can spend hours each day in the GAP—unhappy, resentful, regretful.

The Gap and the Gain

Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan

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