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In summary, the cue triggers a craving, which motivates a response, which provides a reward, which satisfies the craving and, ultimately, becomes associated with the cue. Together, these four steps form a neurological feedback loop—cue, craving, response, reward; cue, craving, response, reward—that ultimately allows you to create automatic habits. This cycle is known as the habit loop.
Atomic Habits
James Clear
Truth is, before staying with Sally and Maria, I genuinely believed that in order for Rosy to learn—to learn respect and gratitude—I had to be firm and strong. And I had to reprimand and scold. My parents had raised me this way, and I thought that’s what all good parents do. I didn’t think that a tender, gentle approach could really work. But Maria and Sally convinced me it not only works, it is actually more effective, especially with a child like Rosy.
And so with a hefty dose of skepticism, I try to do the impossible: stop feeling so angry at my daughter.
Hunt, Gather, Parent
Michaeleen Doucleff
Rules must be absolutely unbreakable.
If you try to decide, each time, whether it’s OK to break the rule or not, then you’ve missed the whole point of rules.
Rules are to save you from deciding.
That’s why hard rules are easier to keep.
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