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guilt is feeling bad about something you’ve done, while shame is feeling bad about who you are.
ADHD Is Awesome
Penn Holderness, Kim Holderness, and Edward Hallowell
Then came what’s known as the “memory wars” — a pushback from leading psychiatrists against therapy that encouraged patients to unearth memories of sexual abuse. The criticism often zeroed in on Dr. van der Kolk, who served as an expert witness in high-profile cases, and Dr. Herman, whose work on dissociation was regularly cited by defenders of repressed-memory therapy.
Dr. Herman shrugged off this critique as “predictable,” the same resistance that Vietnam War veterans and rape victims had encountered when they came forward. “You know, history is a dialectical process,” she said. “When you have a movement that challenges the power structure, you’re going to have a backlash.”
Some clinicians did go overboard, Dr. van der Kolk said. They “started talking about satanic ritual abuse, kids being sacrificed in altars,” he said. “It got a little bit weird. Judy and I never went with that crowd. But they were part of our crowd.”
She Redefined Trauma. Then Trauma Redefined Her. - The New York Times
Ellen Barry
Our days are spent trying to “get through” tasks, in order to get them “out of the way,” with the result that we live mentally in the future, waiting for when we’ll finally get around to what really matters—and worrying, in the meantime, that we don’t measure up, that we might lack the drive or stamina to keep pace with the speed at which life now seems to move. “The spirit of the times is one of joyless urgency,” writes the essayist Marilynne Robinson, who observes that many of us spend our lives “preparing ourselves and our children to be means to inscrutable ends that are utterly not our own.”
Four Thousand Weeks
Oliver Burkeman
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