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If you’re the one who cheated—don’t leave your relationship for another person. Leave for you. If you betray your partner, you haven’t taken the time to understand yourself. The two of you have built something together. If it’s fallen apart, then leave. But let the dust settle before you find someone else. If you enter a new relationship while clouds of dust are still swirling around you, that debris will be caught up in the new relationship. You don’t want to wind up in another mess with the same issues. Licensed clinical social worker Robert Taibbi talks about why rebound relationships seem so appealing. “Once the relationship is over, there’s a void in your life.… [T]here’s a loss and grief because the psychological attachment is broken.” It’s easy to have tunnel vision, Taibbi says, looking only at the bad in the relationship and your partner, and so you think the solution is easy: “Find someone who isn’t like that.” But of course, you’re still the same person you were in your last relationship, so some of the challenges will come along with you. In fact, research by sociologist Annette Lawson shows that just one in ten people who left their marriage for another person actually ended up marrying the person with whom they’d had an affair.
8 Rules of Love
Jay Shetty
Man is but a reed, the weakest thing in nature; but he is a thinking reed. The entire universe need not arm itself to crush him. A vapour, a drop of water suffices to kill him. But, if the universe were to crush him, man would still be more noble than that which killed him, because he knows that he dies and the advantage which the universe has over him; the universe knows nothing of this. A thinking reed.—It is not from space that I must seek my dignity, but from the government of my thought. I shall have no more if I possess worlds. By space the universe encompasses and swallows me up like an atom; by thought I comprehend the world. PASCAL, PENSÉES, TRANS. A. J. KRAILSHEIMER
Lost in Thought
Zena Hitz
As you probably know, in sleep you constantly move between the phases of dreamless sleep and the dream state. Similarly, in wakefulness most people only shift between ordinary unconsciousness and deep unconsciousness. What I call ordinary unconsciousness means being identified with your thought processes and emotions, your reactions, desires, and aversions. It is most people’s normal state. In that state, you are run by the egoic mind, and you are unaware of Being. It is a state not of acute pain or unhappiness but of an almost continuous low level of unease, discontent, boredom, or nervousness — a kind of background static.
The Power of Now
Eckhart Tolle
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