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The rule says that we should try to repay what another person has provided us. If a woman does us a favor, we should do her one in return; if a man sends us a birthday present, we should remember his birthday with a gift of our own; if a couple invites us to a party, we should be sure to invite them to one of ours. Reciprocated greeting cards, birthday gifts, and party invitations may seem like weak evidence of the rule’s force. Don’t be fooled; it can prompt change in sizable behaviors.
Influence, New and Expanded
Robert B. Cialdini
If you struggle to give your stuff away for free, it means either people don’t want it (dream outcome), they don’t believe you (perceived likelihood of achievement) or the hidden costs (time, effort and sacrifice) are too high. In short, your ‘free’ stuff is too expensive.
Viktor Frankl, the Austrian psychologist, summarized it beautifully in the preface to his book Man’s Search for Meaning: “Don’t aim at success—the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue…as the unintended side-effect of one’s personal dedication to a course greater than oneself.”
Flow
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
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