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They try to manage other people’s emotions. This is a big overstep. All people, including the people who report to you, are responsible for their own emotional lives. There are fewer faster paths to Manipulative Insincerity than imagining you can control another person’s emotional reactions or maneuver around them. To build Radically Candid relationships, do not try to prevent, control, or manage other people’s emotions. Do acknowledge them and react compassionately when emotions run high. And do try to master your reactions to other people’s emotions.
First, assume that your first estimate is off the mark. Second, think about a few reasons why that could be. Which assumptions and considerations could have been wrong? Third, what do these new considerations imply? Was the first estimate rather too high or too low? Fourth, based on this new perspective, make a second, alternative estimate.
Noise
Daniel Kahneman, Olivier Sibony, and Cass R. Sunstein
MAN IN THE CAR PARADOX
You imagine that if you owned a fancy car, people would admire you. But in reality people focus on the car, not on you, and think to themselves “Man, if I owned a car like that, people would admire me…”
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