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What do you want from this situation? What emotions do you have? What behaviors are you exhibiting? What is working or not working? Why? Put yourself in the other person’s shoes—what do you think their perspective is? What role can you play in getting to your desired outcome? Is there anything you need to do to make the relationship right?
Interestingly, one key element in changing SRI’s culture was that Carlson never talked about “changing the culture.” “People are generally proud of their culture,” he says. “So if you go into an organization and talk about changing the culture, it makes people wonder: ‘What is he talking about? What’s wrong with my culture?’ You don’t want people worrying about this. I never once used the word ‘culture’ at SRI in any of my discussions with the staff. What I talked about was what we needed to do. I had a couple of big themes. And I repeated those themes all the time. I never used the words, ‘culture change,’” he says.
The Age of Agile
Stephen DENNING
Talk to someone whose circle of competence in the area is strong. Take the time to do a bit of research to at least define questions you need to ask, and what information you need, to make a good decision. If you ask a person to answer the question for you, they’ll be giving you a fish. If you ask them detailed and thoughtful questions, you’ll learn how to fish. Furthermore, when you need the advice of others, especially in higher stakes situations, ask questions to probe the limits of their circles. Then ask yourself how the situation might influence the information they choose to provide you.
The Great Mental Models
Shane Parrish, Rhiannon Beaubien
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