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When a decision to act must be made instantly, it is made through a system of emotional bookmarks. The emotional system reacts to circumstances, finds bookmarks that flag similar experiences in your past and your response to them, and allows you to recall the feelings, good or bad, of the outcomes of your actions. Those gut feelings give you an instant reading on how to behave.
Deep Survival
Laurence Gonzales
We tend to place a lot of emphasis on our circumstances, assuming that what happens to us (or fail to happen) determines how we feel. From this perspective, the small-scale details of hw you spend your days aren't that important, because what matters are the large-scale outcomes, such as whether or not your get a promotion or move to that nicer apartment.
Our brain instead construct our world view based on what we pay attention to. If you focus on a cancer diagnosis, you and your life become unhappy, and dark, but if you focus instead on an evening martini, you and your life become more pleasant, even though the circumstances in both scenarios are the same.
"Who you are, what you think, feel, and do, what you love, is the sum of what you focus on"
“I told them I expect disagreement with my decisions at the time we’re trying to make decisions, and that’s a sign of organizational health,” he told me. “After the decisions are made, we want compliance and support, but we have permission to fight a little bit about those things in a professional way.”
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