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Confucianism presides, then, over the socially necessary task of forcing the original spontaneity of life into the rigid rules of convention–a task which involves not only conflict and pain, but also the loss of that peculiar naturalness and un-self-consciousness for which little children are so much loved, and which is sometimes regained by saints and sages. The function of Taoism is to undo the inevitable damage of this discipline, and not only to restore but also to develop the original spontaneity, which is termed tzu-janb or “self-so-ness.”
The Way of Zen
Alan W. Watts
Mark Twain put it very nicely when he said, “It was so cold that if the thermometer had been an inch longer, we would have frozen to death.”
Awareness
Anthony De Mello and J. Francis Stroud
Expressing our vulnerability can help resolve conflicts.
Nonviolent Communication
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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