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While love promises us relief from aloneness, it also heightens our dependence on one person. It is inherently vulnerable. We tend to assuage our anxieties through control. We feel safer if we can contract the distance between us, maximize the certainty, minimize the threats, and contain the unknown. Yet some of us defend against the uncertainties of love with such zeal that we cut ourselves off from its richness.
Mating in Captivity
Esther Perel
You speak of the experience of “I” only in negative terms. Hasn’t it a positive side? Isn’t there an experience of “I” which fills a person with joy, peace, and rapture? By meditation you will find that all such sensual pleasures are im-permanent; they come and pass away. If this “I” really enjoys them, if they are “my” pleasures, then “I” must have some mastery over them. But they just arise and pass away without my control. What “I” is there?
The Art of Living
William Hart
Children totally accept —and crave—family rules. “In our family we have a rule for X” is the only excuse a parent needs for setting a family policy. In fact, “I have a rule for X” is the only excuse you need for your own personal policies.
Excellent Advice for Living
Kevin Kelly
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