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But these special friendships are very few in number – maybe just three or four. They tend to be the friends that we were particularly close to and spent most of our time with, the ones with whom we shared the ups and downs and traumas of early adult life, whose advice we sought in those moments of deep crisis, the ones we sat up with late into the night discussing deep philosophical issues, the ones we most regularly went out drinking or partying with. It’s as though this small number of special friendships are carved in stone into our psyches precisely because we engaged in such intense, emotionally passionate interactions. We can pick up these relationships years later exactly where we left them off. But for the rest, friendships are fickle things, here today and gone tomorrow. In many cases, they are just matters of convenience – someone to party with or go on day trips with, who will do for the moment in the absence of anyone better.
We need a practice of some sort because doing and being become so painfully separated in modern life. The antidote is to set aside time for reflection, contemplation, and focused presence. This is not mindlessly daydreaming, zoning out, or going into a stupor. It is from a state of energized being that we realize the highest potentials in any situation.
Living Your Unlived Life
Robert A. Johnson, Jerry Ruhl
At a young age I came to know that there is something profoundly hollow about the nature of fame. I had spent my life devoted to artistic growth and was used to the sweaty-palmed sense of contentment one gets after many hours of intense reflection. This peaceful feeling had nothing to do with external adulation, and I yearned for a return to that innocent, fertile time. I missed just being a student of the game, but there was no escaping the spotlight. I found myself dreading chess, miserable before leaving for tournaments. I played without inspiration and was invited to appear on television shows. I smiled. Then when I was eighteen years old I stumbled upon a little book called the Tao Te Ching, and my life took a turn.
The Art of Learning
Josh Waitzkin
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