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Expectations tend to rise with accomplishment. The better you’re performing, the more you demand of yourself and the less you notice incremental gains. Appreciating progress depends on remembering how your past self would see your current achievements. If you knew five years ago what you’d accomplish now, how proud would you have been? The 14-year-old kid who could barely do a flip would have been amazed by the progress I’d made in a few years. I started watching videos of my early diving days. It melted away my shame and marked my growth. Beating yourself up doesn’t make you stronger—it leaves you bruised. Being kind to yourself isn’t about ignoring your weaknesses. It’s about giving yourself permission to learn from your disappointments. We grow by embracing our shortcomings, not by punishing them. Make it feel wrong.
Hidden Potential
Adam Grant
But when people say that the difference between an elite competitor and an intermediate competitor is all mental, that’s accurate: becoming a better competitor is about controlling your psychological state, which in turn alters your underlying physiology. Most simply put, if you can control your fear, then you can control your biology, too. Yet it’s a myth that remaining calm is the answer for everyone. Only some people need to remain calm; others conquer anxiety by going to the other end of the spectrum—by being highly aroused, animated, and even angry. A recurring note in this book is that there are two kinds of people: those who need to avoid stress to do well, and those who actually need stress to perform their best. Being told to chill out, relax, and think positively is fundamentally counterproductive for some people.
Top Dog
Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman
Creativity Creativity is another characteristic shared by all the self-actualized people Abraham Maslow studied. For much of my life I thought of creativity as destiny’s rare gift visited upon a select few. I thought that it only applied to artistic endeavors, such as composing music or painting a canvas. But Maslow greatly broadened my definition. He affirmed that a first-rate soup is better than a second-rate poem, and that one can run a business, build a motorcycle, or raise a family in a creative way. Robert Pirsig amplified this idea in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance when he said, “The Buddha resides quite as comfortably in the circuits of a digital computer or the gears of a cycle transmission as he does at the top of a mountain or in the petals of a flower.” When hesitating to take on a new creative activity, remembering Kurt Vonnegut’s recommendation has been helpful, “To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make you grow. So do it.” Looking foolish at the beginning of any new endeavor goes with the territory.
The Ball's in Your Court
Michael Lewis
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