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People aren’t everything, they are the only thing.
And between the second and the third meeting a whole new set of myths will be born. This time, something different happens, though. It’s the daydreaming that does it. I’m doing the usual thing—imagining in tiny detail the entire course of the relationship, from first kiss, to bed, to moving in together, to getting married (in the past I have even organized the track listing of the party tapes), to how pretty she’ll look when she’s pregnant, to names of children—until suddenly I realize that there’s nothing left to actually, like, happen. I’ve done it all, lived through the whole relationship in my head. I’ve watched the film on fast-forward; I know the whole plot, the ending, all the good bit. Now I’ve got to rewind and watch it all over again in real time, and where’s the fun in that? And fucking…when’s it all going to fucking stop? I’m going to jump from rock to rock for the rest of my life until there aren’t any rocks left? I’m going to run each time I get itchy feet? Because I get them about once a quarter, along with the utilities bills. More than that, even, during British Summer Time. I’ve been thinking with my guts since I was fourteen years old, and frankly speaking, between you and me, I have come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains.
Sharing Vulnerable Stories As Brené Brown now famously discusses in her book Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, vulnerability is when we share something we fear may cause others to reject us. This includes uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.1 Strong communities share stories in which leadership, members, or even the overall organization was vulnerable. These stories build strong bonds. They may include accounts of failure, or the fears, feelings, and truths we don’t want the whole world to know. These stories are so important that if they’re not shared, and the vulnerability and intimacy is never built, there will almost certainly be a superficial feeling of connection among members and with leadership.
The Art of Community
Charles Vogl
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